Era of The Social Media Dubeshag

The World Loves a Dubeshag

Social media vernacular is amazing in its reach, and often hilarious in its final accepted form. Crowd sourcing is certainly interesting, and when you apply it to linguistics you never know what you may get. There is usually a semi-logical genesis for the terms we use. For example, in the world of online gaming the term “pwn” appears to have sprung from teenagers busy juggling an energy drink, a bag of chips, and a game controller while “owning” their rival. Notice how close the “o” key is to the “p” key on a QWERTY keyboard. Thus the widely accepted word “pwn” (pronounced “pone”) was born.

Douchebag is So 2009

When social media looked for a word to describe great disdain for a person, they revived an old 1980′s favorite of mine, “douchebag”. I was beaten up so much for that word back in school that I still flinched a few times as I watched it regain popularity. How popular is the term “douchebag” today as it relates to social media and SEO? A look at a Twitter search for douchebag is shocking. Sure, there are a squillion douchebags out there, but I think we wore this word out for a couple more decades (or more).

Now this is safe for work, so don’t worry. I am going to unleash a new term as you scroll down, complete with illustrations. It may offend you a bit, but I am not your grandmother. It cannot be any worse than douchebag. Believe it or not, the word douchebag is kind of offensive to some people. In fact, it is kind of a fightin’ word. Heck, in social media, about any word beyond “at, is, but, the, that, and if” can be construed as offensive. You should have seen what happened one day on Twitter when I let fly with the word “hormonal”. Hormonal chicks everywhere and their douchebag sidekick playing the “trust me I’m gay” role went nuts. Nuts I tell ya!

Douchebag kicks it up a notch. It is so negative and mean that I thought we needed something nice. We needed a social media term of endearment of some sort to make up for our transgressions.

A Social Media Term of Endearment is Born!

Why does social media need yet another word? I consider the terms surrounding social media such as authenticity, crowdsourcing, transparency, collective intelligence, and douchebag. The list is long, and it is largely crafted by douchebags people who needed a word that would make them sound smarter. Then I get to looking around me at things that are so obvious but I don’t know what to call them. One in particular is the huge fad of not-so-amazingly-handsome fellas who collectively became one of the best known yet least discussed memes of social media. You know him. He is the guy with some extra pizza dough perched above his belt, a pair of moobs, or maybe had a little extra acne as a kid. Yet, against the odds and with help from social media, he has proved his rightfully earned authority as much as any of the Budweiser Real Men of Genius.

So, last night as I was lying in bed beside my supermodel-like wife and contemplating all of those less beautiful people whom I sincerely believe deserve a meme, it hit me. It was like a light bulb exploded over my head. “I’ve got it! Dubeshag … It is familiar, it is fun to say (dooooob – shaaag), and it does not have any other associated meaning. Dubeshag!“ I’ll bet Webster’s Dictionary didn’t see that one coming.

No, I don’t mean guys like Pete Cashmore of Mashable.com. I think most guys would be uncomfortable if their wife was stranded at a ski lodge with that dude … with champagne … and a hot tub … just “waiting” for the roads to clear as they nibble on strawberries. Arrgggghhh! No, not him at all. He is definitely not a dubeshag!

Ashton Kutcher? Well, maybe he could be a dubeshag, except that his wife alone makes him too good looking. Have you ever seen the movie Striptease?! Sorry Ashton … you are out by association.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not necessarily mean the “coyote ugly” guy or the one with a face for radio. I mean, they can be a dubeshag, too. What I mean is the guy you would be more likely to see on Saturday Night Live than as a prime time news anchor.

Winning One for “The Dubeshag”

You may ask, “But Mark, do you have some examples of The Dubeshag to share?” Oh yes, my friends, I do have dubeshag examples. Here are just a few photos of respected dubeshags. An all inclusive list would take forever, but I want to invite you to nominate a dubeshag in the blog comments.

Here are links for the famous-ish dubeshags pictured above, plus a a bonus of the shamefully unphotogenic Dee Tremendous. Enjoy!

• Chris Brogan
• Dee Tremendous
• Gary Vaynerchuk
• Gerald Weber
• Guy Kawasaki
• JD Rucker
• Jason Urgo
• Patrick Parise
• Reg Saddler
• Rob McNealy
• Robert Scoble
• Thomas Clifford
• Tommy Walker

Nominate a Dubeshag

Go ahead, you know a dubeshag or two. Just think of a creative genius type whom you would trust with your little sister … snowed in at a ski resort.

Sadly, as much as I would love to one day become a dubeshag, my wife has precluded my induction. I feel your pain, Ashton Kutcher.

I think a lot of bullies can probably recall somebody they actually liked and respected, but when prompted by the crowd would still insult him and be mean. Social media has changed some of that tone of bullies, but then there are still the ones who want to bully me for writing this or who question my nefarious motives. I wrote it for fun and to entertain. If you think I was paid for it, you are wrong. If you think I wrote it to insult a dubeshag, you are wrong. If you think I wrote it for attention, I would have left it as a draft if I didn’t want people to read it. Sure, I want it to be read. Maybe you just blog for the entertainment of your cats, but I do it for public consumption.

It is laughable how some people never got beyond that sort of cynical thinking and ugly behavior that many of us left in high school. To them, I would have to say that the geeky kid you made fun of has a pretty big voice, and although you get a mention here, you may just be a douchebag bully. The dubeshag often has more friends than you.