Guy Cries During Super Bowl Ad, Woman Rolls Eyes

Sunday February 7, 2010

Bill Braun of Denver, Colorado admits to tearing up on Sunday during one of the Super Bowl commercials. His girlfriend, Cassie Snow responds by calling him a whiny little bitch.

“He always does this,” she says, ripping at a buffalo wing. “Every little thing and he’s grabbing a tissue. All I wanna do is watch the Saints kick some Super Bowl ass and it’s Reggie Bush here and I wonder where Kim Kardashian is there.”

“It’s just so touching,” Braun says of the Google commercial, “I mean this man goes to Paris and he’s just a student and he meets a French girl. And… they fall in love,” he says collapsing in soft sobs and wiping them with the sleeve of his Reggie Bush jersey.

Snow shakes her head, “You know I’m really getting sick of these gendered Super Bowl ads. No woman wants to see a Google ad of a man wooing a French girl. Women want to drive Dodge Chargers and drink Bud Lights and eat Snicker bars while playing football in the mud.

“It’s enough to make me want to hang up my headband on the whole thing. If I can’t get through the greatest day of the year without that little pansy welling up on me, well then… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Braun meanwhile flips through an US Weekly in the corner of the couch, dog-earing pages of Kendra Wilkinson and whoever football player she’s married to, “See he’s on the Colts! They’re the blue team. But I like Kim better and so that’s why I’m cheering for the black team…see,” he says pointing at his form-fitting jersey. Snow rolls her eyes and squares herself to the tube, Braun residually sniffles at the heart-warming ad, “Google brought them together and nothing can ever take that away.”

“Yea,” snorts Snow. “Except maybe football.”