iLoveYou: Couple Marries In Apple Store

This needs to stop.  Really. It. Needs. To. Stop.

Hipster nerdlingers Josh and Ting, instead of being normal human beings, decided to get themselves a little flash mob and get married in an Apple Store.  Says the groom:

“I used to joke that the Apple Store is my church because I am not religious, and I loved everything Apple… Ting then came up with the idea of having the wedding there.”

Apple, Inc. is a for-profit corporation that sells consumer electronic goods and computers.  It sells its products both through third-party vendors and its own retail stores.  The retail stores are just that – stores.  They are not chapels. They are not houses of worship. And by getting married in an Apple Store, this couple is proving what a pair of fameballs-cum-corporate shills they are.

I have Star Wars tattoos. I get really liking something. But getting married in a frakkin’ Apple Store because you like your iPod goes beyond the pale.

Here is my toast to the nerdlinger couple:

Josh: Your new bride wanted to get married in an Apple Store as part of a publicity stunt.  She is a fameball. She craves attention. Moreover, now any computer you buy will have to be a Mac and she’ll want every new model.  Congrats and have fun paying the Apple tax.

Ting: Your husband thought that getting married in a store would be a nifty idea.  Why? Because it’s cheap. That’s right.  Your new groom spent exactly zero dollars on getting married in the Apple Store.  Plus, you are not his wife.  You are his mistress.  His computer is his wife.  Always has been and always will be.  And the iPad he’ll buy you is paid for with money he could have spent on date nights.  He chose the iPad.  Congratulations on picking a real winner.

To the couple: You do realize that your kids will rebel against you by becoming Windows users, don’t you?

(via Gizmodo)